Name that boat!
Boat names — ugh. I’ve been listening to them all day long on the VHF radio since channel 68 is the cruiser’s network here in the Abacos and it’s like an open party line of gossip, and some days when I’m sitting alone on my boat and somebody calls with a real groaner, I jump up and run (well take the two steps) over to the VHF radio and play like I’m sticking my finger down my throat and gagging myself. (I know, I’ve been alone on this boat too long.)
So, you ask, what is a groaner? If you are asking that, it probably means you’re not a boater, but that’s okay, we have some of them here, too. Most boaters have seen far too many groaners out on the water already. These are the boat names that when you see them spelled or hear them on the radio, you simply can’t believe that anybody in their right mind would be willing to do that.
Lately, it’s the catamarans that are making me nuts. Like this one guy who is always on the radio here – INCOMMUNIGATO – I always want to say, Really? Did you have to? Or there’s the one I saw this afternoon here in Hopetown – CHAT- EAU. What, do all cat owners have to learn how to spell cat in foreign languages?
Often times the folks who come up with the worst names are just trying to be punny.
FLOAT SOME AND JET SOME (Lemme guess, a pilot?), or ACCREWED INTEREST
Then there are the nautical language puns:
A KNOTTY BUOY, HIDE AWEIGH, FRAYED KNOT, BUOY N’ SEA,
Some like to go for the naughty giggles like
BETTER WHEN WET, or THE MOTHER DUCKER
And the fishing guys, oh, the fishing guys.
CARP A.D.M., MASTER BAITER, GROUPER THERAPY, A-FISHY-NADO, PLAYIN’ SNOOKEY
Okay, so here’s the thing. Everybody strives in their own way to come up with something clever for their boat name, right? I think my boat’s name TALESPINNER comes close to being a little bit of a groaner, but it doesn’t cross the line. Mike and Mary’s boat name ROUGH DRAFT is one of the best I’ve seen.
But now I need your help with coming up with a new boat name for my current novel. My work in progress is a sequel to CIRCLE OF BONES.The new book is called DRAGON’S TRIANGLE and in this story, Theo is aboard Cole’s boat (a trawler that has been converted to a research and [treasure] salvage vessel). The boat used to be called SHADOW CHASER – because I thought that fit Cole the conspiracy nut. But now Theo has had to change the name of the boat to hide out from the bad guys. What would he call it?
The person who comes up with the best new boat name (to rename SHADOW CHASER) will get his or her name in the acknowledgements of the book and a free signed paper copy when the book is released in April, 2014. So get to work! Make some suggestions in the comments. You have until Thursday, May 9th!